sorry that we haven’t updated in awhile. shit got a little crazy, but we’ll try to update with the current questions this week.
sorry that we haven’t updated in awhile. shit got a little crazy, but we’ll try to update with the current questions this week.
Anonymous asked: I've known this girl for a while and we've always been pretty good friends. I like her and I think she likes me, but I've always received mixed signals from her, so I'm not really sure where we stand. I've been meaning to ask her out, but I don't want to ruin a perfectly good relationship.
What should I do?
He said: Some love, like a cup of hot tea neglected, goes cold before you remember to enjoy it.
She said: Ask her out.
obsessivelyimpulsive asked: so...i've been going out with my boyfriend for almost 3 months now (although we've been seeing each other since december.. we weren't 'official' until 3 months ago) and i have to admit that at school it was so much easier for us. i would sleep over at his place and we'd always see each other day and night. but i guess that's what became the problem because once we moved back to the city for the summer (our school is upstate, 3.5 hrs away from where we live) it felt like reality set in.. he got an internship and started working.. everything feels like it's falling apart. it was so hard to adjust to not seeing him or spending time with him. even right now i'm still trying to get used to it. when he first started working i got really emotional and i guess i acted very needy.. it was especially when he'd tell me 'sorry baby, i gotta work and make that dough' and then later on say that he'd be throwing parties after work.. but eventually i started getting used to him not being around and stuff. but then the other night we were talking and he mentioned that he was confused... and asked how he would know who was the one for him.. and that he was a little confused about how he felt about us.. and lately he's been mentioning his ex alot.. he was a lot less affectionate when i saw him yesterday .. and now he's ignoring me ...i'm not sure how i'm supposed to feel, i'm clearly unhappy with this and i want to make him happy again cause i feel like i may not be the same girl he fell in love with a few months ago. i really don't want our relationship to end but i feel like it will.. maybe i'm not right for him.. maybe i was before but not anymore ? in september we'll be back in at school again .. i just really want us to make it through the summer..
sorry that was long and probably confusing,, i guess my questions are.. what can i do to be a more supportive girlfriend and regain what we had before?
how can i be less needy.. (minus trying to find things to do during the day)
what should i do about him saying he's confused and then bringing up his ex alot...
her and i are so different and sometimes him bringing her up makes me feel like i have to measure up to her.... and i don't think it's possible
He said: It is not possible to travel back in time. It is always best to heal the wounds you can and move forward. People with this many hangups need more time to incubate. Find a guy who respects you.
She said: Don’t ever compare yourself to an ex. Exes are exes for a reason. It sounds like you need to spend some time on you. If he’s blowing you off to party, that’s bad news, especially if you’re not invited. I know it’s not easy, but you really do need to find something else to do instead of waiting to hear from him. If you’re busy with your own life, it reassures him that you’re not a clingy, obnoxious, boring girl. Go out, have fun, and live your life. Think about it… you guys haven’t been dating that long, you’re young, and you probably won’t end up marrying the dude. I hope it gets easier for you, but odds are it won’t. He sounds like a selfish douche and you sound like a people pleaser. I’ve been there before; it takes a few years before you realize that the only person you need to please is yourself. Once you’re happy with you, you’ll find the person you’ll be happy with forever.
Anonymous asked: how do i get my boyfriend to want to be more "adventurous" in bed? our sex is great but its become a bit monotone.
He said: There is pretty much never any reason to feel insecure, so communication is always key across every aspect of relationships. Do things.
She said: Tell him what you want. Better yet, show him. Introduce some sexy stuff into the bedroom. Tell him you want to act out a fantasy of yours, and that you’ll do the same for him. Have fun!
Anonymous asked: I have an amazing boyfriend that I really really love, and I know he loves me back. We are in love. I've been going camping with my friend. And I knew this kid at one of the campsites. He's a senior & I've said like three words to him my entire life. But he had this kid Ryan with him. And Ryan was kinda cute & I enjoyed talking to him & playing baseball with him. I grew up with guys, so I feel more comfortable talking to guys rather than girls. And so I was first to go up and talk to Ryan even though I'm in love with my boyfriend. My friend knows that I'm in love & considers me a flirt cause I love talking to guys (NOT flirting, just talking) and I wanna know of her accusation is true.
He said: I have no idea what any of what you have typed means. Quit tryin to bangout with so many dudes.
She said: You’re asking if your friend was right to call you a flirt? Shit yeah, she was. The thing you need to think about is whether or not your boyfriend would be cool with it. There’s no shame in harmless flirting, so long as it’s harmless, but it sounds like you’ve got a little bit of a guilty conscience about it. Just some food for thought.
eckeau asked: Here's 2 that have nothing to do with one another [I hope anyway :/]
What are your views on religion?
and, have you guys ever played World of Warcraft and what are your thoughts on that?
I figured I'd change it up from all the relationship questions. :)
He said: Religion is a fancy word for dressing up cults. I tried WoW a couple times. I like Diablo2 better.
She said: I think most organized religions are retarded, but I’m not going to go out of my way to avoid someone who enjoys reading the Bible. Hell, I made it a point to study every major theological tome I could get my hands on when I was in college; I can appreciate good fiction. I won’t slam the door in a missionary’s face, but I also won’t subject myself to someone talking out of their ass either. That’s more of a general rule, though. As for WoW, I think it’s fucking awesome, but people who get all insane and butthurt when someone shards their purples are just as ridiculous as religious fanatics. If your significant other is upset that you’re spent more time on raids than you have on their genital area, maybe you should take a break. That being said, FOR THE HORDE.
Anonymous asked: I'm a college student in a committed relationship, we've been dating almost two years but summertime is a challenge- I live in an entirely unconnected state. Last summer he shelled out the cash to visit me & meet my family. Not often but a few times over that summer he'd call not just to talk but specifically because he missed me or he'd text me something sweet for the same reason.
This summer, we're both saving our cash for higher tuition costs, and so far this summer he hasn't done anything just because he misses me. We talk on the phone a couple times a week but I miss his random admittance of affection and missing me. I mentioned the fact once that he seems to not miss me as much this time around and he says he got used to it last year and he is just focusing on work, so he doesn't think about it. Which makes sense to most of my brain, but it breaks my heart a little ...I'll admit it also makes the generally silent, insecure bits in the back of my brain turn on in overdrive. For me, this summer is harder than last summer, in theory because I care about him more.
I'm not sure what my question here is exactly... how do I keep my jump started insecurities in check? should I say or do anything? am I being stupidly emotional and overreacting? not that I'm actually doing anything but let my brain run rampant.
I'd appreciate any advice
you guys are cool, as always, keep it up
He said: I dunno it sounds weird to me that you guys don’t see each other more just because your states are apart.
She said: I don’t think you’re overreacting; you’ve reached a stage in your relationship where you should be spending more time together, but due to geographical differences and your mutual financial situation, you can’t. It’s hard to tell yourself that everything is okay when there’s so much distance between you, but it’s one of those cases where you have to tell yourself that age old adage of “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” If you feel the need to say something, by all means, speak up. You’re in a relationship and you’re allowed to share your feelings. If he respects you, he won’t be put off by it. He could be trying to keep himself occupied with work so as not to think about how much he misses you, but it can’t hurt to remind him that you miss him being around and perhaps you two should plan a get-together despite a small monetary set back. I don’t think you’re being foolish, I think you’re experiencing one of the hardships of being in a long distance relationship. Best of luck to you.
Anonymous asked: Many moons ago I was cheating on my boyfriend with a girl that I fell madly for. I can't say that I was in love with her, but we had this miraculous 'side' relationship going for 6 months strong, until I realized that guilt drove me to do the right thing and cut all ties. A year and a half has passed, my boyfriend and I ended up not working out, and she found a new girlfriend. Thing is, her and I have been reaquainted and it seems as if we've switched places. I can't even begin the explain our fucking chemistry. It's like she's the night sky and my stars shine bright against her complexion. We're seriously meant to be, and she feels the same way. Yin and yang. Milk and cereal. Zan Efron to 10 year old girls. It's LIKE THAT. If we're so entwined into each other, then how come she's so reserved to be with me? She's not even with her girlfriend anymore.
I just want us to thrive and live freely as we should, give ourselves that chance I didn't take a year and a half ago. Doesn't she?
He said: She’s probably reserved about it because you have already demonstrated that you have questionable decision making skills and aren’t very trustworthy. Lucky for you time tends to heal wounds.
She said: You hurt her feelings and broke her trust when you called it off to be with your dude, so of course she’s not going to give you her heart 100% just because your other relationship went south. To her, she was just a side dish and your boyfriend was the main course. Put yourself in her position and recognize how shitty that feels. She’s going to need time to trust you, and if you want to be with her, you need to prove that you’re never going to leave her again. She might never fully trust you, so be prepared for that. Hell, she might even leave you for someone else. Don’t just tell her that you want her, show her that you want her. Then cross your fingers and hope for the best.
Anonymous asked: So, I've been going after this guy for awhile now. We have a lot in common but still very different people. I asked him to my prom, I spent the night at his house. He seemed interested in me and he kissed me when he dropped me off. After that he said he'd call me, and never did. I have a class with him and I'd sit next to him and chat. My last day of school I decided to tell him I liked him and he had said he liked me also.My friends tell me he's just shy but I feel like I'm getting mixed signals from him. He said he'd call me so we could hang out this summer. I have a feeling he won't. What should I do? sorry this is really stupid high school crap.
He said: I would just relax. You could be coming on strong. Just remember that it isn’t the end of the world if nothing happens.
She said: High school “crap” helps you prepare for “real life” crap, so I wouldn’t exactly call it stupid. Maybe your guy friend is shy or maybe he isn’t interested… If you’re not willing to put yourself out there, you might never find out. Okay, so maybe he’s not going to call you. Who says you can’t call first? If you really want to be with this guy, make a move. The worst that happens is that he tells you he isn’t interested, you get over it, and you move on to your next high school romance. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Anonymous asked: Okay. Well, I am madly in love with my boyfriend and we've been together for almost a year and a half. But, this relationship wasn't always perfect. We met when I was 16 and he was 24. I told him, "I just want to have fun" and he assumed, fooling around a little, but obviously not getting too close to a minor. Though, oddly my family liked and approved of him.. He was worried about the reaction he'd get from hi own family. So, shortly after on/off dating for a couple months, he left me and went on tour with his idol band, MXPX and slept with a few sluts. Of course, you can see how this story is going. He broke my heart and left me cold turkey for half a year. After that, everything came crashing down in his life, he got fired from the band and had to restart his life from scratch. He came back to me and said that he was foolish to ignore what God was giving, since he'd been asking for me all of his life. Anyways, we had some hard times and got through them, but to this day
I still can't forget what he did to me and can't wipe the nightmares from my mind, of him being with whores. I knew I would have to deal with this eventually, because I was always more mature than the people of my age and I would want to have an older more experience guy (not necessarily sexually, but obviously it would be inevitable.) After a few months of being back together, I gave him my virginity, and have been dealing with this sexual frustration ever since. I don't know how to move on and allow our relationship to grow. Please help.
He said: You said “I just want to have fun” as a 16 year old girl. No shit you want to have fun. That statement is generally reserved for people aged to the point where wanting a frivolous relationship is something that needs to be stated up front. Listen to yourself. On one hand you say you are more mature and need a more mature guy, while on the other you are obviously just a naive little girl. You understand how contrived it is to say you want a more mature guy at your age? Fuck. Women my age don’t even want to date guys my age. That shit never changes. He went out and had fun and slept with other girls, then when he comes back and lets you know you were always his back up plan is when you decide to have sex with him? Do yourself a series of favors. Break up with him, find a nice boy your own age (or don’t), and take some time to be young and figure out who you are. It isn’t too late for you to start over before you make another bunch of terrible decisions.
She said: You’re under 18 and sleeping with a guy who tours with bands. I think it’s safe to say you were a little naive to think that he wouldn’t fuck other girls while out on tour, but hey, you’re young. So your story is that homeboy went out on tour after running hot & cold with you, hooked up with a bunch of other girls, and then came crawling back once shit fell apart. Sounds like you’ve got yourself a real winner there. My best advice? Get tested ASAP and break it off with him. You’re probably never going to get over the fact that he was with other women and the resentment that you have is only going to get stronger. Find someone closer to your own age who didn’t lose their virginity when you were still playing with Barbies.
