Anonymous asked: I'm a college student in a committed relationship, we've been dating almost two years but summertime is a challenge- I live in an entirely unconnected state. Last summer he shelled out the cash to visit me & meet my family. Not often but a few times over that summer he'd call not just to talk but specifically because he missed me or he'd text me something sweet for the same reason.
This summer, we're both saving our cash for higher tuition costs, and so far this summer he hasn't done anything just because he misses me. We talk on the phone a couple times a week but I miss his random admittance of affection and missing me. I mentioned the fact once that he seems to not miss me as much this time around and he says he got used to it last year and he is just focusing on work, so he doesn't think about it. Which makes sense to most of my brain, but it breaks my heart a little ...I'll admit it also makes the generally silent, insecure bits in the back of my brain turn on in overdrive. For me, this summer is harder than last summer, in theory because I care about him more.
I'm not sure what my question here is exactly... how do I keep my jump started insecurities in check? should I say or do anything? am I being stupidly emotional and overreacting? not that I'm actually doing anything but let my brain run rampant.
I'd appreciate any advice
you guys are cool, as always, keep it up
He said: I dunno it sounds weird to me that you guys don’t see each other more just because your states are apart.
She said: I don’t think you’re overreacting; you’ve reached a stage in your relationship where you should be spending more time together, but due to geographical differences and your mutual financial situation, you can’t. It’s hard to tell yourself that everything is okay when there’s so much distance between you, but it’s one of those cases where you have to tell yourself that age old adage of “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” If you feel the need to say something, by all means, speak up. You’re in a relationship and you’re allowed to share your feelings. If he respects you, he won’t be put off by it. He could be trying to keep himself occupied with work so as not to think about how much he misses you, but it can’t hurt to remind him that you miss him being around and perhaps you two should plan a get-together despite a small monetary set back. I don’t think you’re being foolish, I think you’re experiencing one of the hardships of being in a long distance relationship. Best of luck to you.
