cnk0ne asked: so...i've been going out with my boyfriend for almost 3 months now (although we've been seeing each other since december.. we weren't 'official' until 3 months ago) and i have to admit that at school it was so much easier for us. i would sleep over at his place and we'd always see each other day and night. but i guess that's what became the problem because once we moved back to the city for the summer (our school is upstate, 3.5 hrs away from where we live) it felt like reality set in.. he got an internship and started working.. everything feels like it's falling apart. it was so hard to adjust to not seeing him or spending time with him. even right now i'm still trying to get used to it. when he first started working i got really emotional and i guess i acted very needy.. it was especially when he'd tell me 'sorry baby, i gotta work and make that dough' and then later on say that he'd be throwing parties after work.. but eventually i started getting used to him not being around and stuff. but then the other night we were talking and he mentioned that he was confused... and asked how he would know who was the one for him.. and that he was a little confused about how he felt about us.. and lately he's been mentioning his ex alot.. he was a lot less affectionate when i saw him yesterday .. and now he's ignoring me ...i'm not sure how i'm supposed to feel, i'm clearly unhappy with this and i want to make him happy again cause i feel like i may not be the same girl he fell in love with a few months ago. i really don't want our relationship to end but i feel like it will.. maybe i'm not right for him.. maybe i was before but not anymore ? in september we'll be back in at school again .. i just really want us to make it through the summer..
sorry that was long and probably confusing,, i guess my questions are.. what can i do to be a more supportive girlfriend and regain what we had before?
how can i be less needy.. (minus trying to find things to do during the day)
what should i do about him saying he's confused and then bringing up his ex alot...
her and i are so different and sometimes him bringing her up makes me feel like i have to measure up to her.... and i don't think it's possible
He said: It is not possible to travel back in time. It is always best to heal the wounds you can and move forward. People with this many hangups need more time to incubate. Find a guy who respects you.
She said: Don’t ever compare yourself to an ex. Exes are exes for a reason. It sounds like you need to spend some time on you. If he’s blowing you off to party, that’s bad news, especially if you’re not invited. I know it’s not easy, but you really do need to find something else to do instead of waiting to hear from him. If you’re busy with your own life, it reassures him that you’re not a clingy, obnoxious, boring girl. Go out, have fun, and live your life. Think about it… you guys haven’t been dating that long, you’re young, and you probably won’t end up marrying the dude. I hope it gets easier for you, but odds are it won’t. He sounds like a selfish douche and you sound like a people pleaser. I’ve been there before; it takes a few years before you realize that the only person you need to please is yourself. Once you’re happy with you, you’ll find the person you’ll be happy with forever.
